By Carole Filion, Mindset Coach
"Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure out everything all at once. Breathe. You're strong. You got this. Take it day by day."
— Karen Salmansohn
Bell “Let’s Talk” Day came and went this past January. I recalled an ad they had in the past with the message that 1 in 4 Canadians experience high levels of anxiety. Although we’re over 2 months into the new year, at times the hangover from 2023 is sometimes still palpable, so I feel this holds true at any time.
I’m no stranger to anxiety and depression and a family member had more than her fair share of panic attacks. This had me thinking about the root of anxiety. Where does it come from? What causes it? Is it physiological, psychological or something else? And what, if anything, can we do about it to rid ourselves of it, or at least tame it down so as to make room for more joy in our lives.
We do know that anxiety originates in our thoughts. When circumstances and situations around us are perceived as threatening, our fight or flight response kicks in. Thing is, that response is millennia old and was there to save us when saber-toothed tigers were chasing us down. Today’s version of prehistoric beasts comes in the form of unemployment, divorce, economic uncertainty and general malaise. Based on that perspective, there is a somewhat protective element to anxiety, so it’s not all bad. The problem starts when it spirals into something bigger and we feel like we’re losing our grip.
Step away from wherever you are to change your view. If you’re driving, pull over to safety as soon as you can. If you’re in a meeting, excuse yourself for a few minutes. Once you’ve moved, sit and close your eyes. Conjure up the image of something or someone that immediately makes you feel better - a pet, a person (a child, grandchild, etc), a place (cottage, somewhere you travel to, etc), a thing. If nothing comes to mind, grab your phone and start going through your photos - NOT social media. If your phone isn’t handy, think about the details of your previous evening’s dinner - what it was, how it was made, how long it took, how it tasted. The point of this step is to disrupt the pattern that’s emerging. Keep a folder in your photos on your phone for future use. Start collecting all those “feel good” pics you can turn to in these moments.
Take a breath, as deeply as you can muster to start. Make the next one deeper. Same for the one after that. Place your hand on your belly and breathe into your hand, expanding your belly. Then count on the breath in, and make the exhale longer (breathe in for 4, breathe out for 5-6).
If you can take a bit more time, use the Sweeping Breath Technique (thank you, @janetpodleski for teaching me this one). Turn your head to the right so your chin lines up with your right shoulder. Then breathe in as you move your head to the left (aligning your chin with your left shoulder). As you breathe in, “sweep” in all of your power, your calm, your strength, your positive energy. Exhale through the mouth as you move your head back to the right. Breathe out all negativity, anxiety, stress on the exhale. Do this sweeping motion as many times as you need to re-instill calmness. If you carry essential oils like lavender or Valeria with you, this would be a good time to pull them out and breathe them in.
Curl your toes, hold for 5 seconds, then release. Clench your hands into tights fists, hold for 5 seconds, then release. Same for your buttocks, your face - all parts of your body. Then for the finale, clench them all for 5 seconds, then release.
Notice that all of these are things you can do in a bathroom stall, or in your car if you need some measure of privacy. They won’t cure the anxiety, but they will give you the shot you need to move through until you’re in a space where you can apply more involved, longer term therapies.
Once you’re in a more settled state, it’s important to understand where this state originates. To do that, you need a basic understanding of how the mind works.
When anxiety turns into chronic, debilitating panic attacks, it’s important to seek professional help. If, on the other hand, anxiety is always triggered by the same things and you’ve normalized the general malaise it brings, you might want to consider working with a qualified coach, one who understands how to help you replace the mental programs that cause you undue stress. Replace is the operative word since removing simply leaves a void that could get backfilled with something equally undesirable.
If you think you might be normalizing habits and anxiety-based behaviours that don’t serve you, then let’s get on a call and see where I can help. If I’m not your girl, I’ll do my best to point you in the right direction.
To your good mental health,
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